Draco Malfoy is a Bastard
by valinorean
Summary: Draco Malfoy is a selfish bastard who only thinks of himself. But everyone already knows that :: Harry/Draco SLASH :: Written for 2011 HP DIDI Slash Fest


**Title:** Draco Malfoy is a Bastard  
**Author:** vala (valinorean)  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy is a selfish bastard who only thinks of himself. But everyone already knows that.  
**Characters:** Harry/Draco, implied Ron/Hermione  
**Word Count:** ~2k  
**Contains:** sickeningly sweet cavity inducing fluff  
**Beta:** wendypops  
**Disclaimers:** All recognizable characters are created and owned by JK Rowling and various publishers. This was written for fun, not for profit.  
**Author's Notes:** This was written as a pinch hit for the **2011 HP DIDI Slash Fest**

* * *

**Draco Malfoy is a Bastard**  
by vala

* * *

Everyone knows Draco Malfoy is a bastard. He is selfish, obnoxious, irritating and spoilt.

When Harry is sick, it's always Hermione who drops by with hot soup from Molly's kitchen and a vial of Pepperup potion from the apothecary. She sits by Harry's bed and forces him to eat even when the only thing he wants to do is to curl up in bed and feel miserable.

"Honestly, Harry," Hermione says. "Shouldn't Draco be the one doing this? He is your boyfriend after all."

"He's at the lab," Harry mumbles in response. "Busy brewing."

"I don't know how you put up with that," Hermione huffs. "Is there anything more important than taking care of you when you're sick?"

"It's okay, I don't mind," Harry replies. He really doesn't. He knows Draco has a very good excuse for leaving him to fend for himself.

"Well I do," Hermione says fiercely. "The next time I see him, I'm going to make him regret ever leaving you like this."

Harry only smiles. His friends are always protective of him.

She then makes him drink the Pepperup potion even when they both know it doesn't have any effect on him. At least she's a much better friend than Draco is a boyfriend, is what she always says.

After that, she gently tucks him into bed and drops a kiss on his forehead before Flooing home.

* * *

-:-

* * *

When Harry is sick it's always Ron who brings him Quidditch magazines to read or offers to play a round of chess with him. Ron knows how easily Harry gets bored when bedridden. He knows because he's spent a lot of time by Harry's bedside at the hospital wing of Hogwarts when they were young.

"Where is he anyway?" Ron asks whenever Draco isn't around, which is more often than not, as Ron can attest.

"Out with Pansy, I think," is Harry's usual reply.

"_What?_" Ron still exclaims, even if it isn't the first time he's heard this answer. "The git left you at home with nothing to do while he goes out _shopping?_"

Harry winces. "S'not so bad," he says. "I'm sure he'll be home soon."

"He shouldn't even be out at all if he knows what's good for him," Ron glowers. "Don't worry, Harry. I'll stay here until that berk comes home."

But in the end, Draco always comes home much later than Ron is prepared to wait, forcing him to leave Harry's side lest he incur the wrath of his pregnant wife.

Yes, Draco Malfoy really is a selfish bastard who only thinks of himself.

But everyone already knows that.

* * *

-:-

* * *

People say that Harry is the most loving, unselfish and self-sacrificing person on the planet. And Draco is lucky because Harry is the only one who is able to stand someone like him.

They're all wrong though, dead wrong.

In fact, Harry is an even bigger bastard. He is actually more selfish, obnoxious, irritating and spoilt than Draco.

When Harry is sick, he always wakes up in the middle of the night, poking and prodding Draco in the most irritating manner before asking him to cook breakfast—at two in the morning. Draco curses, grumbles and feigns sleep whenever this happens. But after a few minutes of Harry's pitiful snuffling, he gets up, barely awake, and cooks breakfast for his very sick lover. Yes, even at two in the morning.

He slaves over the stove for half an hour cooking all of Harry's favourite food (or at least the ones he can stand to eat when he's sick). He arranges the tray of food for Harry, carefully tucking a small white rose on the side—a little extra to lift his lover's mood a bit—and brings it up to their bedroom, only to find that Harry has already fallen asleep.

Draco doesn't wake him, though. He only flicks his wand, sends the tray gliding back down to the kitchen and crawls back into bed with his lover without so much as a grumble.

* * *

-:-

* * *

When Harry is sick, no amount of Pepperup Potion can make him feel better. There's only one potion that can cure him—one that is very difficult to brew and requires the skill of an experienced Potions Master. This naturally translates to Draco toiling for hours on end at his potions lab just to make Harry that special draught.

Draco argues that Harry doesn't really need anything other than a lot of water and bed rest. Besides, the potion takes a long time to brew and requires a rare ingredient that is difficult to obtain. But Harry doesn't care. He wants the potion and he wants it now. And so Draco heads out to find that rare ingredient.

He is seen knocking on other Potions Masters' Labs and Herbalists' homes trying to find that particular ingredient needed to brew the special potion. An inordinate amount of time and a few hundred galleons later, Draco finally gets his hands on the bothersome thing. Then Draco spends the entire day in his potions lab brewing the potion, even forgetting to eat sometimes, with only the thought of getting back to Harry as quickly as possible.

Draco always comes back home, feeling drained and exhausted but also pleased that he was able to provide what Harry needs. He returns home well past dinnertime, potion in one hand, and awaits his reward for being such a good boyfriend. Perhaps he will receive a kiss, or even more if he's lucky.

But Harry only waves off the offering saying he no longer needs it. He's feeling better already, is all the explanation Harry offers. And Draco never really learns any better, no matter how many times this happens.

But instead of being angry, he allows Harry to complain about his awful _awful_ day without him, spending the entire day in bed with only Hermione for company, forcing him to eat even when he's too weak to lift his own hand to feed himself. Draco only smiles indulgently and kisses Harry on the forehead, promising to hand feed him himself the next time he's sick.

Draco doesn't mind the wasted effort at all. He's just glad Harry is finally well again.

* * *

-:-

* * *

When Harry is sick, he gets bored easily. Draco knows this because of the numerous times he's had to entertain his bed-ridden lover whenever he comes back looking worse for wear from an Auror mission.

When Harry gets bored, it's very hard to please him. Harry can read through a stack of Quidditch magazines in a day and it still isn't enough. So he makes Draco go out and buy every Quidditch magazine there is, even the international editions, just so he won't have to spend the entire day going stir crazy. And when Harry says all, he means _all._

And there really isn't any one place where Draco can buy those magazines. The local ones are easy enough to find, but Harry likes one particular magazine that used to feature Viktor Krum a lot before he retired from professional Quidditch. The magazine's readership isn't big enough so the circulation is limited only to the country where it's printed. And what else is there for Draco to do but Portkey to Bulgaria?

Fortunately, Pansy's new boyfriend works at the Portkey Office in the Ministry. Draco can't even remember how many favours he owes his best friend and tries not to think about the consequence when it's time to return the favour.

But Draco thinks that even a hundred life debts to Pansy is worth the brilliant smile that graces Harry's lips whenever he comes home from his impromptu trip, shopping bag in tow.

* * *

-:-

* * *

When Harry is sick, he always demands entertainment from Draco. And by entertainment he means sex. Draco obliges him, of course, as nothing lifts Harry's sullen mood more than a good romp.

But of course, sex is different as well when Harry is sick. There isn't any of the explosive passion or the desperate need to touch and feel each other that defined their early relationship. Conspicuously absent too are the tender kisses and adoring caresses that Harry has learned to bestow on Draco after they finally admitted to themselves that there was something far more between them than just obsessive lust or carnal desire.

No, Harry really is quite different when he's sick. So much so that Draco sometimes wonders if he really is the same person. Harry becomes pushy, demanding, and most of all he wants nothing more than for Draco to fuck him thoroughly while he lies there and rattles off instructions on how he wants to be pleased. And quite frankly, nothing amuses Draco more than a petulant Harry demanding sex.

"No make it four—no wait wait! Okay, three is enough, in fact just take them out and just put yours in. _Now_, Draco."

"That's too slow, move faster. Well, not _that_ fast, just slow down a little."

"Are you quite done? Because if you are, I want you to finish me off by sucking me. Are you sure you aren't done yet? I'm dying here! No, no! I want you to come first. So, are you done?"

Afterwards, when Harry is sated and thoroughly shagged precisely the way he likes, he curls up beside Draco and demands to be petted. Draco smiles and indulges him, of course. And Draco cards his fingers through Harry's hair until they both fall asleep.

And Harry doesn't really care if everyone thinks Draco is an obnoxious and irritating prat because he knows it isn't true. He knows a side of Draco who constantly caters to his every demand no matter now absurd and irritating. And he doesn't want to share _this_ Draco with the rest of the world. He doesn't want anyone seeing this side of Draco because Harry is a selfish bastard.

And the truth is, no one in the wizarding world is able to stand someone as selfish, obnoxious, irritating and spoilt as Harry Potter.

No one, that is, except Draco.

* * *

End.


End file.
